Part 2

The Second part of our story is much different from the first:
After a long and very difficult battle over what was best for my father with my grandfather we moved my father into assisted living in the middle of October 2015. The move was very difficult because my grandfather did everything he could think of to block the move, including going as far to have the police bar me from going to “his house” to help my father move out. It all ended up working out in the end because of a few useful steps, first I scheduled the move and made it clear there would be a list of items to be moved and no other items were needed. I gave that list to my father and he was to give a copy to the movers. After he gave a copy to the movers, they would get the stuff and he would drive to the assisted living facility in his car. Once he arrived at the assisted living facility the movers would move things in and I would help direct them as to where things need to go. A few items that were not welcome made it, but it all ended up working out. The next thing we did was bring a lot of stuff to Goodwill. After this, we got a laundry sorter from Amazon and a mattress pad from Target. Then we just started to get him settled in. The first few weeks my dad was in assisted living I was very nervous and went there frequently but after a while I started to be able to prioritize what needed to be done and started to set a three visit a week limit unless something important needed to be done. I also made it clear that our Fridays were to be spent having fun. His assisted living facility does a very fun happy hour with food and music on Friday afternoon and I make sure to go every week. Our focus has now shifted from getting things done to creating good systems that can minimize the time we spend doing “jobs” so that we can spend time together. I know that he will continue to loose cognitive function and I want to spend the time with him now before the dementia gets worse. I want for him to remember me.